A Big Deal

J. and I just had one of the best talks of our marriage after watching the season finale of....



hold on to your hats...



Bret Michael's Rock of Love! Yes, Bret gave J. and I subject to apply to our marriage. Now, let me just say...I had to come blog about my revelation while my husband went straight to snoring. However, I have truly had a revelation.

Seriously!

And no, my revelation wasn't that I want to bring big, rocker hair back...because believe me...I could NEVER do the bangs the way my sister could do the bangs...you rocked the bangs, sister!!!

... it was a finalization that I want to make a big deal of my husband. Let me explain. We were getting ready for bed, and I mentioned that I liked how Bret (AKA VH1) made a big deal out of the dates with the girls. I was trying to let J. know that every little girl grows up with the dream of being the big deal. When it hit me that is why I LOVE birthdays, holidays, fancy events, friend gatherings, being with my family...etc...it is a chance to feel like a big deal. It also hit me that I made a big deal out of J. when we were dating, but since we have gotten married, I have been waiting for him to make a big deal out of me.

HOW SELFISH AM I?

Here I am supposed to be this man's best friend, and all I am worried about is me! Seriously, I wouldn't treat any of my family or friends like that. Why did I do that to him? I would bend over backwards without wanting anything in return for my sister, brother, friends, etc....

but this man....

the one who stood with me and vowed to walk through this life with me . . .

this precious soul has not had that side of me. He hasn't had the chance to be made a big deal. His sweet grandmother who passed away when he was a young boy, truly was the last person on this earth to make him feel special.


Needless to say, I am on a mission. My life mission has been expanded for one more person. My dear husband's birthday is two days before mine. I have joked with him that he needed to pick another month to celebrate his birthday. Yes, I am hanging my head in shame. However, this year, I want to make his day precious to him. I searching for the best German Chocolate Cake recipe. How I wish I could talk to his grandmother and get it from her!

Please pray for me. Pray that this revelation doesn't have selfish motives at all. Pray that I will seriously accept the commissioning of making my husband feel like a big deal.

Adoption Update

We have lost the birthmom. She won't even return our friend's phone calls. If you would like to know more about why that is, just ask. I seriously don't mind talking about it. J. and I are thrilled that God used us to sit down and talk to this precious woman. We are blessed that we got a chance to tell her how much God loves her, and that there is no disgrace in carrying a life. She had been told many times how awful the pregancy was by the people she surrounded herself with.

So, we are looking for a new birthmom. We are going to go through an agency. We have a few more phone calls to make on Monday and Tuesday to finalize who we are going to use. This means that we will have a much bigger expense with this adoption, but we have a HUGE hurdle behind us. We got our homestudy and background check done. We are going to try to apply for some grants. We don't think we will be granted any loans, but God is bigger than our credit issues. So, we will see.

Anyway, keep us and our future child in your prayers. We are so excited to be matched and bring him or her home.

The True Meaning of Fall

Fall officially began at our house this weekend. A cinnamon sent is filling the air as we speak (yes we coordinate our house hold sents with the seasons). One of my little quirks I suppose!

The other reason Fall has begun at our house is because Aggie football begins today. Now, if you are not an Aggie, you might think I am crazy. BUT I have to say that I just watched this for the first time with tears streaming down my face!

6 years and counting!

Why I am thankful for you:

• You are a gift from God
• You are the man of my dreams
• You draw me closer to God
• You love me with every part of you
• You are the most forgiving person I have ever met
• You are my man full of strength, power, and emotions
• You are part of the triangle we have created
• You dream with me
• You hold me so tight
• Your hand fits perfectly in the small of my back
• You are my knight in shining armor
• You wipe away my tears
• You are exactly who God created you to be and I love you!

It amazes me every day when I see the love you have for me! I am overwhelmed that after 29 years of praying for you that God made you real. I am so very blessed to be by your side. Looking back at this picture, I realize how much we have grown and changed. God is so precious and so faithful to hold us close and form us into His image. As our lives tumble around the idea of raising a family together, I thank God that you stand beside me in this journey.

Happy Anniversary, My Love!

Watching, Waiting, and Learning...

If nothing else has happened in this adventure of adoption, the one thing that has drastically grasped my attention is that I am not in control. God brought the birth mom to us. God brought the lawyer to us. God has blessed us with what we have needed so far. God gave us a chance to tell this precious woman that she was loved and that she is a blessing to us. God is totally in control.

With that being said, we have lost touch with the birthmom. She got spooked by a really horrible situation that we had absolutlely no control over. Therefore, she isn't returning our friend's phone calls, and she hasn't answered when we have called (because she isn't allowed to).

I have been asked if I should call around to all of the hospitals and ask for her room in case she went up there without us knowing. However, once talking to J.and prayed about it. I realized, I am not in control. I have to step back, get in the word, continue to pray for the baby and the mom, and rest in the assurance that the God who led Daniel will indeed lead me. The God who loved Mary is deeply in love with me. The God who was the God of David, Abraham, Paul, John, and Ester is also MY God. He is the one who knows my days and is in control! Praise Him! All I am called to do is share His love with those around me. So, that is where I am. I am walking the road like I am watching this story unfold on a big movie screen. The only difference is that my director is the Ancient of Days!